Work it fat bird, work it!

So I bought a pair of Nike trainers at Harrods the other day. I read about them in the Harrods customer magazine. Now the purchase of my trainers, I readily accept, is hardly worthy of a blog. But these are no ordinary trainers. Oh no. These trainers are far from ordinary.

You can run in them certainly. And they’ve got the air-bags, or whatever they are in the soles, and anti-lock brakes and stuff. And they’ve got the big Nike swoosh on the side that says, ‘Do NOT mess with me, I am a SERIOUS joggist. I get off my lardy ass and pound the streets because I WILL fit into that slinky little black dress by Saturday night OR ELSE...’. But that’s all yesterday’s news. That’s not why I bought them.

I bought them because they come with the ‘Nike+ iPod Sport Kit’. Listen to this – you get a wireless sensor/receiver mi’bobbin linked to your shoes and iPod Nano and it tells you your speed, time, calories burned and distance travelled. AND, while you’re running, no, really, wait, this is the totally unbelievably cool bit - you get motivational messages from Paula Radcliffe or Lance Armstrong saying things like, Work it fat bird, WORK it!

Actually, I made that motivational message up. I haven’t quite got as far as using the Kit yet so I’ve no idea what they really say to you. But that’s not the point. The point is it’s completely wicked. When you get home, you can upload your run data to the Nike Plus website and track your progress to little black dress heaven.

Now, I daresay I could have spent a month or so in Niketown, handling the merchandise and sniffing the insoles of a thousand pairs of trainers before maybe stumbling across this revolution in little black dress feasibility. But I didn’t. That’s mainly because I have an aversion to pimply adolescents and I prefer to shop at Harrods whenever possible for obvious snobbery reasons. Presumably, I could also have visited Nike’s website or joined their newsletter mailing list and
discovered these trainers there. But I didn’t do that either. That’s because I hate ‘spam’. Spam is SO post-war luncheon don’t you think?

What I actually did was read all about them in the Harrods customer magazine produced by River Publishing. I wasn’t actually looking for trainers, I certainly didn’t need them, but it was a great article and I couldn’t resist. So I’m a jolly happy customer, Harrods is happy (they’ve got my cash) and River Publishing is feeling pretty smug too because their magazine has directly influenced my buying behaviour in Harrods’ favour. So the only question remaining, is WHO is going to shrink my butt by next Saturday?

I love you all dahlinks – more soon...
Angelica xxx